It WILL hot dog #20170727

Internetainers Rhett and Link joined Jimmy Fallon, looking to answer the age old question: Will it Hot Dog? These guys are hilarious, and they bring joy to the world by coming up with ridiculous hot-dog-replacement items.  It’s a bit of frivolity that I greatly enjoy, but they pretty much design the show so that the answer “will it” is often likely to be “NO.” I’d prefer to make all the answers “YES” and I think the first step is to keep the hot dog, and just add different toppings. To start, I’m going to reimagine Rhett and Link’s “Will it” segment, but with intentionally tasty sounding toppings instead of weird-hot-dog-replacements. Here we go!

Sushi Dog Start with a sweet Hawaiian roll, add a grilled hot dog,  and then top it with avocado, diced cucumbers, ribbons of pickled ginger, spicy mayo, tobiko, and toasted sesame seeds. Sounds good to me!

Soup Dog-e-dog Well, they said it tasted like gazpacho, so we’ll take inspiration from that. The bun will be toasted on inside the split, then slathered with garlic butter, and will once again feature a plain hot-grilled-hot-dog.  Dice up a few tablespoons of onions, and take the edge off by adding salt and the juice of a lemon. Let that sit (and pickle just a bit) while you prep chopped tomatoes,  chopped red bell pepper, and seeded/peeled/chopped cucumber. Mix all that business together, then use a fork to “drain” out the onion, and add it to the mix with some from tarragon, thyme and parsley. Add a dash of cayenne pepper to the mix and sprinkle with a little more salt. This is a long, drawn out way to describe making a type of gazpacho-flavored-fresh-salsa. Add the hot-hot-dog into the garlic-buttered-bun, give it a squirt of ketchup and spicy mustard, then sprinkle the top with your gazpacho-salsa-thing.

Under Dog Well, strawberry flavored edible underwear was the flavor of this one, so we’ll keep the “adult” theme. Start with a brioche bun is buttered and then toasted (again on the inside, where the dog will go), then add a piping-hot bacon wrapped hot dog. Top it with grated Gruyère cheese, and broil til the cheese is just melted. Mix 1/2 cup strawberry jam with 2 tablespoons of Pinot Noir like they do in this recipe from Food & Wine, and then drizzle that over the melty cheese. Garnish with some julienned fresh basil if you’re feeling fancy.

Kibbles-and-I-don’t-think-I-want-to-eat-this With a name like that, why would you try? Also, dogs aren’t supposed to have a lot of salt so that ends up making things a lot less delicious. My dog goes NUTS for nut butters, so we’ll toast a bun and then spread some peanut butter on there. Add a freshly grilled hot dog, then top with some diced apples, which my dog also weirdly loves. I would also add few caramelized onions if they weren’t super toxic to pups. Honestly, this one is still pretty weird and I don’t really want to try it, but I would bet $5 that it’s more enjoyable than straight up dog food.

That’s it, that’s all the dogs they “made” with Jimmy. I’m pretty sure my versions are more delicious, but I’m also not willing to buy and eat strawberry edible underwear to make an informed comparison.